Stop Thinking About Losing Weight!

Hello there :) I have been thinking about the importance of a post like this for a while and I finally decided I would write it. This has been very important in my recovery from binge eating disorder. And as I usually say: I am not a professional. My ultimate advice is always to seek professional help. I take the time to write these posts because this is what has worked for me, and my life has drastically changed since I started doing these things, so if I can help a little, that's great. But if you have an eating disorder, and if you can, please, please, please, seek treatment.

An eating disorder is an illness. The causes can be biological, genetic, social or a combination of them. An eating disorder can coexist with other pathologies like depression, social anxiety, borderline personality disorder, etc. Eating disorders can be very different from one another and sometimes people may think that they have nothing to do with each other. Some are completely restrictive and others are all about excesses, but then again, if we pay attention to them, what they cause is a  disturbance in the normal eating habits of a person.

An eating disorder won't let you eat normally and guiltlessly. And because eating is something you do about 5 times a day, every day, an eating disorder won't let you live normally.

Even if they are all eating disorders, and they all cause a huge over estimation of the importance that weight and food have in life, the treatment for each eating disorder is different, and of course each recovery is different too. There's is no such thing as one right way to recover (and there's also no point in comparing your recovery to another person's recovery).

One of the things I have learned so far, is that when you really want to get better you have to give up some things. You need step out of your comfort zone. You've probably read this before, but this is the point of the post: You need to stop thinking about losing weight.

Ask somebody to keep the scale for you, or put it somewhere else if you can't help weighing youself everyday, stop doing bodychecks. Stop judging your body. It's hard at first but really need to stop all those punitive weight-related behaviors as soon as possible because they are not helpful with your recovery.

Now, this is from my experience: when I first committed to my recovery I gave up the idea of losing weight and I had my reasons. But, I have lost about 6 lbs since I started my treatment. I know I sound like an idiot when I say this but please keep reading, because I will explain...

You can't recover from an eating disorder and attempt to lose weight at the same time.

I know that those who have binge eating disorder commonly are expecting to lose weight. And I completely understand, I really do because I had that mindset before, but it's no use. It's not going to help you to recover from something so complex like an eating disorder.

Because those things, they are incompatible. It's like rowing in two opposite directions. It doesn't make any sense and this is the reason: when you're focusing on the weight loss only -the result- you are tying your self-worth to your weight. And that is exactly what recovery isn't about! When you start making progress with your self-esteem, and you start loving yourself as you are, and the treatment starts to work and the binges start to be less and less frequent... Weight-loss comes as a consequence.

And when weight-loss comes as a consequence it feels like a blessing.

If you have BED and it developed like mine (after losing weight because of a highly restrictive and long diet) when you actually notice you lost some weight, no matter how little and no matter slow, but without suffering, obsession, and without compromising your health. I promise you, you will feel how you are breaking free from the ED chains.

As I've said before it's not all rainbows and butterflies -I also like pointing out my struggles because you need to know that it's not all perfect, and that it is perfectly ok to feel down now and then-, and there are still some ED thoughts that have to be progressively attacked. I started my treatment being a bit overweight, and when I first noticed some weight-loss I noticed some thoughts like "whoa I'm starting to look like that again" and then that nasty voice popped out of that corner of my mind "I could start working out like before" but hey, those are the moments when I have to recognize my ED voice and stop it right there and be strong enough to carry on and follow this path I have been creating, this new path that is finally taking me to where I'll have a healthy relationship with myself, with food and exercise.

And nope, I'll never be perfect, I'll never look like a model and I'll probably never be skinny. I may never have a thigh gap but I really don't care. The only thing I'm looking for now is confidence and health.

I'm feeling happy most of the time :) and also tomorrow is my binge-free day number 50! yay!

Ok, so I really hope you liked this post. If you agree/disagree, or have any doubts regarding my treatment feel free to leave a comment (they are open).

Have a nice week everybody. You can do this, it's hard but not impossible.

Pol